Wordless Wednesday 💕

A few shots from our “hike” today

Self Care for the Second Pregnancy: 10 Ideas

I can honestly say this pregnancy is worlds apart from my first pregnancy. I worked out religiously the first time around and ate healthy most of the time 😬. I also worked most of my pregnancy and my house was spotless weeks before she got here. Purchasing necessities was on the top of my to do list the entire time too.

This go around is probably the polar opposite… I’m still working out but I’m also exhausted from taking care of a 15 month old. So workouts are definitely fewer this time. Healthy eating is a joke. I eat whatever my daughter leaves behind on her plate and then scarf down whatever I can eat when she’s not climbing all over me. My house is messy 99.9% of the time. I clean but she goes right behind me and destroys it sooooo the mess stays and baby supplies have barely crossed my mind.

With that being said, here are ten self care activities I have been able to squeeze in:

1. Bubble baths: Sure, sometimes the toddler joins me but it chills out my anxiety and we’re both clean afterwards. I usually use my favorite sugar scrub and shave my legs and feel like a new woman for the rest of the day 🙌🏼😌.

2. Take a walk: I try to squeeze in a walk outside at least once a day, if not more. It’s like a reset button for both of us. I feel refreshed as soon as I get my heart rate up and get my daily dose of vitamin D.

3. Clean: Okay, I hear you. Clean? Um yes! I cannot relax in a cluttered home. It’s impossible for me. So, a five minute decluttering session makes me feel complete for a few hours ’til we have another mess.

4. Take a nap: I need the baby to nap anyways so I may as well soak up the last months of solo cuddles while I can.

5. Put makeup on: Regardless of whether I’m leaving the house, I try to put a little makeup on. I feel like a swamp monster most days with toddler snot and peanut butter on me. The least I can do is conceal my dark circles and look halfway rested 🤷🏼‍♀️.

6. Enjoy the coffee: Okay I know some people are completely anti-coffee while pregnant, but let me be frank when I say I think that pregnancy rule is complete bullshit. Your baby will be fine. Enjoy your cup of coffee in the most peaceful spot you can find (front porch, closet, bathroom…I don’t judge)

7. Buy the maternity jeans: If your pants are tight and uncomfortable, just make the switch. Stop letting it control your self esteem. You are supposed to get bigger. Wear pants that fit and feel beautiful!

8. Go on dates: So I haven’t lived up to this one in a traditional sense. We don’t have a sitter anywhere in sight so we go on family dates and we love it just the same.

9. Go on vacation: Take that last vacation before baby #2. You’ll treasure those memories of when your little was still just your only little. A little bittersweet? Yes, but I think it’s important to really imprint that in our memories ❤️.

10. Blog/draw/craft: Make time to be creative. Pregnancy is an emotional time whether it’s completely warranted on hormonal lol, find something to channel that emotion into. You’ll be able to look back after the baby is here and reflect on that season of life.

That’s the gist of what’s been getting me through so far. Here’s to 23 more weeks and beach vacation in March 🙌🏼. Thanks for the read!

High Needs Baby and How to Cope

Okay guys, I’ve been dealing with early pregnancy and a rambunctious toddler since my last post. My daughter has always been what I would describe as “a bit much.” I honestly assumed my difficulty in parenting her was due to being a new mom. With a fair amount of experience with babies and a master’s in psychology, I always thought I wouldn’t have an issue with tantrums and power struggles. I guess I thought I’d be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel and divert the situation. (Now I know all parents deal with this to an extent but as I’ll explain below, Amelia is amped up in all areas)

However, everything came to it’s boiling point a little over a month ago. Because of the impending arrival of the new baby, I’ve been trying to accomplish “sleep training”. I use that term loosely because we cosleep and my idea of sleep training is getting her to sleep on a floor bed in her room with her dad. I just could not understand why she was still waking so much and why sleeping away from me was simply out of the question for her.

Then, I made an impulse purchase of The Fussy Baby Book, written by William Sears, M.D. and Martha Sears, R.N…. HELLO LIGHTBULB MOMENT 🙌🏼 I have a high needs child and she’s been like that since birth! For the first time everything about her personality made sense and I could get down on her level. Now, I’ve already heard the misconception “all babies are high needs”. Yes, all babies need their parents and I disagree with the way western society expects these tiny humans to accept independence right out of the womb. High needs babies, however, are SO MUCH MORE. Everything about these children is more intense. Feedings, waking, temper tantrums, particularity, etc. are all more intense.

If any of this is peaking your interest or giving you hope that this might be your answer, I encourage you to visit Dr. Sears’ website The Fussy Baby Site. I started here before I bought the book and I cannot scream from the rooftops enough how grateful I am for finding this.

Now, I won’t say Amelia has every characteristic 100% of the time, but here are the constant traits we deal with in our house:

Frequent waking: She still wakes up to nurse 3-4 times a night to nurse at 15 months

Frequent nursing/eating: She nurses with as much enthusiasm during the day as well. Amelia as eats her meals plus SEVERAL snacks throughout the day.

Always on the move: This kid is intense. She is always moving, needing stimulation, and needing my feedback.

Mood swings: Depending on how you frame a response, a dramatic meltdown may ensue. A simple “no” results in earth shattering cries. However, explanation and compromise have changed our lives. She seems to require more adult conversation than a typical 15 month old. It works. So who am I to argue with results?

Clingy: This trait is what sent me on my quest for knowledge. The clingy nature of this babe is unbearable (only for me) at times. Most days, Dad is out of the question. She follows me from room to room whining and crying for me. She requires baby wearing if I need to get anything done but will play independently if I’m simply sitting in the room. She has little to no interest in anyone but me. This is EXHAUSTING but quite typical of a high needs child. I have confidence that she will learn to be more accepting of other attention but this is my reality for now and I’m more accepting of her innate needs after reading this book.

I would like to emphasize that these traits are not negative. They are just part of the overall temperament my baby was born with and these traits that make her difficult now will probably be amazing for her future. She’s determined and sure of what she wants. Who wouldn’t want that on a sports team or in the boardroom?? She’s also very sweet, empathetic, and the most affectionate child I think I’ve ever met. She’s going to do great things with what she’s been given and it’s up to me to learn to be her mom, not change her into society’s idea of a perfect baby.