Where is My Head??

I haven’t been as dedicated as I told myself I would be. I tried to be strict about writing on a regular basis but it’s fallen by the wayside. Mom life is definitely coming easier but I’m still struggling to grasp back onto “me”. I feel like I’ve lost a large part of my personality since becoming a mom. 

Since I’ve been trying to climb out of this hole I’ve dove head first into crafts, fitness, and excessive Pinteresting. It’s unhealthy how much I’m on Pinterest and let me be clear…I am NOT a Pinterest mom (lol). 

Some days I spend 3+ hours supervising free play from my recliner while I Pinterest things I wish I could be doing. I’m not even sure what I hope to accomplish by writing about this but maybe if another mom stumbles across this post and can relate to this numbness I feel, maybe she’ll feel relieved that she’s not alone. Maybe she’ll feel enough sunshine to climb out of her own hole. 

I feel like my loss of concrete purpose is to blame. I’m no longer in school, no longer working, and I have no long term goals anymore. So, I’m just wandering…that’s the only thing I can equate it to. I suppose I’ll continue searching for my fleeing wit and work on being present. After all, that’s all any of us can guarantee.

Thoughts I Have Since Becoming a Mom 

1. “You’re sleepy. Why wont’t you just take the nap?”

2. “Take the f#%*!~g nap…sweet child.”

3. “God, I’m an awful mom for cussing at my kid. Even if it was in my head 😣”

4. (To stranger) “DO NOT touch my baby’s head. She is asleep. Move along.”

5.  “Great, you woke her up. Now I have to murder you.”

6. “Is this normal?!?”

7. “When’s the last time my husband changed a damn diaper???”

8. “I might as well just change it. At least she won’t have a blowout if I do it.”

9.  “When will I get to go to a movie again?”

10. “It’s totally fine. Elena of Avalor is quality entertainment.”

11. “All my hair is falling out. Maybe I should just chop it.”

12. “But then I’ll have a mom haircut.”

13. “I feel less like an adult now. Why do I have a child? I can barely feed myself as it is.”

14. (To doctor) “Don’t ask me where she’s sleeping I will lieeeee like a sleepy hound dog.”

15. “I love you little sweetie. I love you so much I could just eat your face 😘”