Okay so I recently had the discussion with my husband that our sweet girl is now a toddler and will probably start behaving like one (she already does 😳). He obviously only sees her as the sweet angel she was when we brought her home. Of course she’s still the sweetest and I love her immensely, but Jesus she has become a sass master.
Let’s just say this girl is fierce and I see her conquering the world one day. For now, she reacts with vengeance when she’s told “no” and we’re working on that lol. So here are my little confessions since embarking on this terror train.
- I don’t like her sometimes. 🙁 Now, I always LOVE my child unconditionally but I don’t like her all the time. She just now walked up to me and clawed my face. Hence me not liking her for a second.
- When my husband leaves it all to me to deal with, I plot what household object I’d like to knock him out with. Fellas, be better. All around just be there for fuck’s sake.
- I see my temper in her and it scares the shit out of me. I hope I can teach her better coping skills than I have.
- I’m honestly terrified that I’m screwing her up. I’m trying my best to discipline in a constructive, science-backed manner but it’s freaking hard.
- I don’t like being a stay at home mom. I hate saying that because I wanted that for so long. This is probably an unpopular opinion but I feel like I’m wasting my education and it seriously devastates me. My husband doesn’t see me as the accomplished woman I am anymore and that pisses me off more than it makes me sad. I’m still wrestling with this and it’s okay.
Okay, rant over and if you made it through that, snaps for you! 😉
I know I’ve posted loving little references to my wonderful husband in the past, but I am not immune to the annoying shit that husbands put wives (and specifically moms) through. He’s a great dad. I’ll give him that, but if I could just get him to switch me places for one day….
- First of all… he’d be pretty damn irritated if I came home after work and just sat in my recliner and neglected to help with childcare. He does this 95% of the time. I’m sitting in the floor “playing” after only speaking to a tiny human all day and he just sits there. I can’t ask him for anything or even bother him to talk about the day until he’s sat there for at least an hour 🙄 he has a stressful job (air traffic controller), I get it. However, I also know he only works one freakin hour at a time and I’ve been holding my pee for three hours because the kid is having a clingy day.
- He’d also get a little annoyed if I put all my dirty dishes in the sink when the empty dishwasher sits 20 inches to the right…how hard is it? Will his balls fall off if he does this? I don’t know but there is a mysterious force that keeps him from loading the dishwasher 🤔
- Oh I know for a fact he’d get pretty pissed off if I asked for a gold sticker every time I did something around the house that’s just expected for everyone else. You know, picking up after yourself, laundry in the hamper, putting the q-tip you drop back in the trash can, changing a dirty diaper (not waiting an hour for someone else to do it), taking out the trash….you get it. Why do men want and freaking congratulations when they do stuff wives do 100x a week?? Where’s my damn cookie and confetti? 🙄
- Or, or, or….if my response to every request or complaint was simply “yeah but I work.” 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
Yeah, I’m a stay at home Mom but guess what, I work LEAPS AND BOUNDS more than he does. My job is 24/7 without mandatory lunch breaks. Just something to think about….
Me too kid, me too. 😐
As you can see it’s been a hot minute since I last posted. I think I needed a break from life to let my mental state recuperate. I haven’t really been doing anything outside of taking care of the sweet little one and spending time with my husband. I did, however, quit my job. Aside from a few loose ends, I just decided it was time to move on. I’ve never felt better about leaving an opportunity. It was just too far away from my passions and it was draining me. I couldn’t be a good mom when all I could think about what the dread I felt for work.
So from there, I’m not sure what my next move is. I’m currently working on my real estate license and just kind of enjoying life. I’d like to find more outlets to be creative and work with my hands. I find that I’m happiest when I can create things.
I suppose the point in sharing all of this is to illustrate how important mental health is in relation to parenting. I needed to “reset” for the sake of my daughter. Since taking the step back, I’ve realized I was selling myself short and it was hurting both of us. I’m so grateful my husband has a job that allows me to kind of retreat inward from time to time. I just want other moms to know it’s okay to not have a 9-5 CAREER. It’s okay to not buy into the rushing around lifestyle. Some people, introverts especially, need that downtime to re-energize and discover themselves again. Life is too short to stay in the career you hate just because being busy is glamorized.
I would like to precede the following post with the motive behind it. I find myself complaining about my husband on a daily basis and I just feel that I need to recognize the positivity he brings to my life and try to recognize it on a more regular basis.
Ordinarily, I’m ranting about my husband not helping with the baby, leaving messes, ignoring me to play video games, neglecting yard work, etc. See, there I go again. I do feel like I carry the weight of the household most days, but I need to recognize that he does leave the house everyday and work at one of the most stressful jobs in the world (air traffic controller). He provides for us and would do absolutely anything to make us happy.
I’m reminded of his kind heart on special days. My birthday was just a few days ago and he rewarded me by taking me out to buy a nice camera. I’ve been begging for one so I could take baby pictures without shelling out the cash for professional pictures every other month. He also took the time to take us hiking all afternoon so I could play with my new toy and enjoy some quality time together as a family. I can’t even express how much that day meant to me. As a somewhat peculiar female, I do not enjoy shopping sprees, fancy dinners, or trips to the spa. That day was exactly what I needed to feel special and only he could do that for me.
I suppose I should summarize the point behind this long-winded brag session. Husbands may frustrate us to no end, but at the end of the day maybe we need to put ourselves in their shoes. I can honestly say my husband has no clue what he’s doing as a parent, but I don’t either. He’s learning right along with me. He doesn’t have the advantage of staying home with her every single day and I need to recognize the learning curve and help bring him up to speed, not belittle him for his inexperience.