Okay so I recently had the discussion with my husband that our sweet girl is now a toddler and will probably start behaving like one (she already does 😳). He obviously only sees her as the sweet angel she was when we brought her home. Of course she’s still the sweetest and I love her immensely, but Jesus she has become a sass master.
Let’s just say this girl is fierce and I see her conquering the world one day. For now, she reacts with vengeance when she’s told “no” and we’re working on that lol. So here are my little confessions since embarking on this terror train.
- I don’t like her sometimes. 🙁 Now, I always LOVE my child unconditionally but I don’t like her all the time. She just now walked up to me and clawed my face. Hence me not liking her for a second.
- When my husband leaves it all to me to deal with, I plot what household object I’d like to knock him out with. Fellas, be better. All around just be there for fuck’s sake.
- I see my temper in her and it scares the shit out of me. I hope I can teach her better coping skills than I have.
- I’m honestly terrified that I’m screwing her up. I’m trying my best to discipline in a constructive, science-backed manner but it’s freaking hard.
- I don’t like being a stay at home mom. I hate saying that because I wanted that for so long. This is probably an unpopular opinion but I feel like I’m wasting my education and it seriously devastates me. My husband doesn’t see me as the accomplished woman I am anymore and that pisses me off more than it makes me sad. I’m still wrestling with this and it’s okay.
Okay, rant over and if you made it through that, snaps for you! 😉
So I’ve come to the conclusion that finding your best friend soul mate is a million times harder than dating and finding a mate. Don’t get me wrong, I have several close friendships I established and continue to care for from high school and my hometown. However, when you move away it can be daunting to find a new “tribe”.
I’m extremely introverted and I struggle with small talk. I’ve tried to socialize in Facebook groups and it never goes anywhere. I live in the Deep South and I’m not especially religious sooooo obviously that’s a huge hurdle.
Now I’m not saying I’m not a believer in Christianity. What I am saying is that I do not want to come to church three times, two potlucks, and six women’s studies groups to make a friend. The struggle is real people! 🤷🏼♀️
Buy guys….. I found the mom equivalent of Tinder and it is AH-mazing! It’s called Peanut and you swipe up or down based on hobbies and the ages of your children to find a good match. It’s so easy and cuts down on the first awkward “what do you like to do for fun” convo.
As an incredibly shy person, I’m stoked to say I’ve officially made 3 friends from this app!!! They are my people and I haven’t felt this fulfilled in such a long time 😍
Listen mommas, give this one a try, especially if you’re struggling to find your village.
Also, I started a Facebook page for my blog so follow this link and like it please!
As you can see it’s been a hot minute since I last posted. I think I needed a break from life to let my mental state recuperate. I haven’t really been doing anything outside of taking care of the sweet little one and spending time with my husband. I did, however, quit my job. Aside from a few loose ends, I just decided it was time to move on. I’ve never felt better about leaving an opportunity. It was just too far away from my passions and it was draining me. I couldn’t be a good mom when all I could think about what the dread I felt for work.
So from there, I’m not sure what my next move is. I’m currently working on my real estate license and just kind of enjoying life. I’d like to find more outlets to be creative and work with my hands. I find that I’m happiest when I can create things.
I suppose the point in sharing all of this is to illustrate how important mental health is in relation to parenting. I needed to “reset” for the sake of my daughter. Since taking the step back, I’ve realized I was selling myself short and it was hurting both of us. I’m so grateful my husband has a job that allows me to kind of retreat inward from time to time. I just want other moms to know it’s okay to not have a 9-5 CAREER. It’s okay to not buy into the rushing around lifestyle. Some people, introverts especially, need that downtime to re-energize and discover themselves again. Life is too short to stay in the career you hate just because being busy is glamorized.
Perhaps the postpartum hormones are a little out of balance. Perhaps I’m just returning to my bitchy baseline. Maybe, I’m depressed. I’ve just been dwelling, quite extensively, on what all the crap we stress ourselves out over will mean in a year, ten years, when we’re in a nursing home. Who the hell cares if we get that next bonus? Our grandkids sure as heck won’t give a damn. They won’t care how much we had in our bank account, which Iphone we owned, or who we “networked” with at our work parties.
I just…can’t buy into the hooplah of the busy life we’re supposed to be sold on these days. Where is the emphasis on camping, running barefoot, and hugging the ones we care for. As a mother, I think it’s important to reflect on the slower way of life and not rush our little ones into this chaotic world we live in. I may still be constructing the framework of how I intend to do so, but I felt the impulse to share my feelings so they won’t weigh on my soul so heavily. I see so many moms trying to be the “IT” mommy. I just wish I could log on and see more individuals that were truly INDIVIDUAL.
Hello all! I would like to first say, thank you for checking out Daily Struggle Bus! This blog is somewhat of a personal experiment. I have a track history of starting projects and being extremely ambitious and excited about them. Then, I slowly stop talking about them, thinking about them, and then they’re just gone…I want this blog to not only be my new hobby, but also a tool to hold myself accountable for continuing hobby. I have a long list of failed projects that include various direct sales companies (Beauticontrol, Origami Owl, and Stella & Dot to name a few), restoring antique furniture (which I actually LOVE), and even two blogs I started only to delete within weeks of my first post.
So that’s why I’m starting Daily Struggle Bus. I’m thinking if I throw it out there, y’all can call me out if I fall behind or start that familiar cycle. Also, I’m a MOM now! That’s such a crazy statement for me to make. I struggled to get pregnant for two years and now that I have this beautiful daughter, I want to be a good role model for her. I want her to see that her mama can set her mind to something and go out there and do it!
I’m new to this…I feel like if I don’t have a framework it will be so easy for me to let this go and just delete the blog within a month or so. I’ve always heard “it takes 21 days to form a habit.” Whether that’s true or not, I don’t know, but I plan to follow one of those Pinterest blog prompt posts for the first 30 days. I want my hobby to become my new hobby, my escape, my chance to connect with other moms. Plus, as an added bonus, I’ll get to scope out the results from those Pinterest pages that preach “become a blogger!!!” and report back to everyone on my results 🙂
So that’s the gist of it. Nice to meet y’all. Stay tuned, read, enjoy, and say “hi” every once in a while!